Category Archives: Dreams

7. Toto, We’re Not in Kansas, Anymore -Afternoon Showers

Wrapped in his strong arms, I am content and happy. We lay together skin to skin, not feeling the chill in the air.  He is so warm and our breathing becomes synchronous. The day has been full of new sights and adventures for me, the afternoon, well, let’s say, I’ve met a lover I will not soon forget. His kisses are sweet and slow, his embrace warm and loving, his love-making, giving and demanding at the same time. Energetic and gentle, he’s a considerate lover.  His hands know where to touch but he also knows when to ask if something he does pleases me.

I’m  very happy right now. I make a soft little purring sound.  He chuckles. “So, kitten, are you ready to see the lights of Paris?” I  am comfortable in his arms, he’s so warm, I don’t want to leave this bed.“Hmm, but you are like a teddy bear, you are so warm, I don’t want to leave this spot.”, I tell him, speaking into his chest. He strokes my hair.”Don’t worry, your teddy bear will be right here when we get back if you want.  I know you wanted to see the Eiffel Tower all lit up, didn’t you?”  Okay, he knows exactly what I really wanted to see, he knows I don’t usually go out at night by myself when I travel, and I was looking forward to seeing the famous lights of the Eiffel Tower like I had seen on the news and in magazines.

“Let’s shower, get dressed, go out and we’ll get some dinner too, how’s that sound, kitten?” as I watch him rise from the bed and head to the shower. His muscular body makes me sigh, I enjoy watching that chocolate skin and ass walk away from me. “Mmm, very nice”, I think to myself.  He looks over his shoulder as he starts the shower, “Are you coming?”

The shower was smaller than both of us could really fit, but we manage.  Under the shower, we embrace and kiss.  As we kiss, he lathers up the wash cloth and begins to wash my body. The experience is exquisite. Of course, I am a firm believer in giving as much as receiving and he gets the same treatment from me as well. I cover every inch of his body and soon he starts moaning. “Stop or we may not make it to the sunset, my dear,” I notice just how aroused he is becoming as my slippery hands encircle his ever enlarging shaft. I smile wickedly, lean down and kiss him, slowly and deliberately.

6. Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore – That’s Not His Name

That’s Not His Name

He opens the door for me and lets me the enter my apartment first.  Suddenly from behind, he sweeps me into his arms. I squeak in protest and slight embarrassment.  I’m not a little woman.  Think of those paintings by Ruben, those women lounging around with just a few more curves, yeah, that’s me. But effortlessly, he carries me over to the bed and places me down gently, not even out of breath.  Sitting on the edge of the bed he reaches over and slips off my shoes and starts massaging my feet. I blush.  This just doesn’t happen to me. It feels wonderful, though.  His hands are strong and sure. They massage and hit all the right trigger points, they start to move up to my calves and legs. “Is this okay, tell me if you want me to stop.”  I’m nervous but definitely not wanting him to stop.  I’m thoroughly enjoying this. His hands are warm and gentle.

The rain can be heard outside the window and on the roof, I’m on the top floor. The mood could not be any better. It’s becoming dim in the tiny apartment even though it is late afternoon because of the storms outside, but I love the sound of rain and with him next to me I begin to sigh. He lies down next to me and says, “I should go and let you rest, I’ll come back later.” as he kisses my neck and moves to my lips. I love his seduction and I don’t want him to go. “Stay, you’ll only get wet outside.  We can both rest”

His hands move up my torso and touch my cheek, as he slowly trails kisses down my neck he unbuttons my blouse one button excruciatingly slowly at a time. It seems like he’s taking his time enjoying my anticipation. His kisses move further down my collar bone to my chest and my bosom.  He is pleasantly surprised when he releases them from their bondage to see just how much he gets to play with. “Ohhhh, my dear, what large ….eyes you have” he smiles and kisses one and then the other.”OH, my dear, what a nice mouth you have”  I reply.

His mouth continues to explore my neck and bosom, while his masterful hands continue to undress me. I’ve managed to undress him as well, and my hands explore him, I notice the difference in our skin tones, he is so dark and I am porcelain pale.  His hair is so black and mine is so white.  We look like Yin and Yang lying there together.  His skin is a beautiful color, I admire the silkiness texture of it and the muscles beneath the surface. As he kisses me, his mouth moves further south on my body and I moan”Oh My God”.  He stops, looks at me, smiles and says,”Candy, that’s not my name.”

  • Rainy Afternoon in Paris along the Seine, April 2016. Photography  by Candace Stauber

 

5. Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore -Be Still My Beating Heart

Be Still My Beating Heart

I wake early the next morning, I still hadn’t adjusted to the time difference from Colorado to Paris, but thinking about Frédérico hadn’t kept me asleep either. I was excited and anxious to see the man. I felt giddy like a young teenager on her first date, that’s how he makes me feel. Looking forward to today I search through my limited belongings.  I only packed one suitcase, not expecting to meet the man of my dreams by any means, so not exactly packing for the occasion.   Okay, something simple and yet classy.  That should do it. I dress and go to the local Starbucks to get my Venti Chai tea and to hook up to the available Wi-Fi.  He said he would contact me before he came to pick me up and the Wi-Fi in the apartment just wasn’t reliable.

Ding. Halfway through my chai, I hear the bell. It’s him. I know I’m smiling. He’s on his way, I tell him to meet me here.  We’re going to have a wonderful adventure today, I just know.

His presence in the coffee shop warms me more than the tea and as he leans over to greet me with a kiss on the cheek. His smile makes his dimples deeper and his eyes glisten. This man knows how to smile.  Not one of those fake smiles, but one that fills his whole face to his eyes.

We are close to the Latin Quarter and decide to walk to the Pantheon, I have no clue where that is, but the walk takes us past small interesting shops and he is patient enough to let me window shop on the way. In fact, there are a couple of jewelry shops I just can not resist and have to go in to see the handmade treasures.  I adore jewelry from other countries and always bring home at least one piece when I travel.  I had to remember this shop later.  The piece I had my eye on was an elegant little gold necklace with an aquamarine oval crystal and azure lapis stone dangling close by.   I didn’t want to take my time though buying jewelry when I was with Frédérico, so quickly moved on.

The Pantheon stood before us at the top of the hill, it looked like something I’d seen in Rome with all the columns. I didn’t expect that I suppose I should have with the name but was surprised. I hadn’t thought about the benefits of him being a museum curator, for one, admittance to any museum in Paris is now easy.  We bypassed the lines and got tickets, solely on his employee ID.  He is such a handsome man, and I noticed the girl in the ticket booth flirt with him and bat her lashes trying to get his attention.  He immediately circled his arm around me and asked for two passes.  She looked crestfallen and handed him the passes.  He smiled at me and gave me a wink. “I am yours, mon cher, and you are mine while you are in Paris.”

Having visited the Pantheon, we walked back to Notre Dame and grabbed a bite to eat at a small café.  It’s getting late in the afternoon. I’m exhausted, to tell the truth. I know I walk a lot while I’m visiting countries but having someone show the city to you is so much better and makes the time go so quickly.  The only thing it doesn’t do is ease the pain of the sidewalk on your legs.  I needed to rest.  We walk back to my apartment, Frédérico knows that we’ve had a busy day today but wants to spend more time with me.  I need to rest for a while.  I reluctantly tell him that I have fibromyalgia and that I need to rest for a bit. I don’t like to admit this to most people about having this disease, for one it’s hard to explain because I look just fine, but my body needs the down time and to pace itself, otherwise I hurt — a lot.  He opens his cell phone and googles it. Looks up at me and says “This?  Is this what you have?”  And points to the wiki page about fibromyalgia.  I smile and say “Yes, but I’m better than most, I take care of myself.”  He continues reading and as he gives me a gentle hug, he murmurs in my ear, “Okay, you go upstairs take a nap, I’ll pick you up at dusk to see the sunset and we’ll go to dinner, how’s that sound to you?”  I linger in his arms, not anxious to leave as I inhale the slight muskiness of him and the aroma of his aftershave.  It sounds heavenly!

Evidently, he is not anxious to leave me either, as he holds my hand and walks me up the narrow staircase to my flat. Sometimes it’s so narrow we can only walk one person at a time, yet he still holds my hand.  I need to rest for a couple of levels, but he is patient and kisses me while he waits.  I think he likes those pauses in the darkened stairwell.  Being so tall, he needs to duck when he gets to the top floor, so he doesn’t hit his head, but we finally make it to my door.

I reach for my key and fumble with it, he takes it and smoothly unlocks my door and smiles as he gives me a sideways glance with mischievous brown eyes. Be still my beating heart.

  • The Pantheon, April 2016, Photography by Candace Stauber

4. Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore -Oz

Over the Rainbow

As I slowly make my way up the five flights and narrow staircase to my tiny Cinderella flat I think about Frédérico, wondering what tomorrow will bring. I still feel his kiss on my lips and smile to myself as I climb, blushing at the indecent thoughts I am having as I go up the dimly lit staircase.

In my small one room apartment, I quickly slip off my shoes and throw my pocketbook, camera and jacket on the fold out table. I quickly rush over to the window overlooking the street to see if I can see him somewhere on the streets below. Will I catch sight of that tall, dark haired man walking through the crowds here in St. Denis?  Not many are as tall as he. But, no.  I sigh. All I see are the hustle and bustle of the evening crowds starting to gather at the Cafe Oz beneath my window. The lights are bright and the Paris city is preparing for it’s party time. The city of lights is coming alive. I truly feel like Dorothy now.  I’m not in Kansas anymore and am definitely over the rainbow.

  • Feature Photo: Notre Dame Gardens, Paris, France. April 2016. Photography by Candace Stauber

3. Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore-Breathless

Breathless

It’s beginning to get late in the evening and I check my GPS on my phone to make sure I know how to get back to my apartment. He asks where I’m staying and I say in the St. Denis area.  He says he’ll walk me to my apartment because it really is near by.  It’s been a busy day and the streets of Paris have exhausted me and confused me enough and I’ve gotten turned around way too many times today in these narrow alleyways, I take him up on the offer.

Where it took me an hour to get to Notre Dame that morning, it only was a few blocks from my apartment and over the bridge.  It was so easy to get to when he took me back.  I chuckled to myself. I had made things so difficult.  Walking through the now bustling district of St. Denis with the outdoor cafes and coffee shops, we pass the Lebanese restaurant and the Sushi restaurant to come to my door.  He says, “It’s been a pleasure, my lady”, as he takes my hand and kisses it gently “I hope I can see you tomorrow, I don’t have to work for the next few days and I would consider it an honor to spend the time with you, I would love to show you Paris. Would you like that? Can I pick you up in the morning?” I smile and say, “I would love it” (are you kidding?  I’m not turning this down!)  He says, “Come here”, as he guides me to the first step to my apartment.  I look at him cautiously.  He tells me to step up. I do, now I stand a little taller, he then holds me firmly at my waist and gently kisses me goodnight. “Bonsoir ma chérie, à demain”, then turns around to leave, leaving me totally breathless.

  • Feature Photo: St. Denis District, Paris, France. April 2016. Photography by Candace Stauber

2.Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore -The Encounter

The Encounter

Immediately I noticed his dimples when he smiled and I have to admit, dimples are one of my weaknesses.  I absolutely love dimples on a handsome man.  I had to look up, he was so tall.  I’m only five foot four inches, this guy had to be over a foot taller than me.  I couldn’t help but smile back, and I’m sure I blushed a little. I know I looked like a drowned dog, wet with rain, my hoodie soaked, my hair sticking to my face because of the wind, camera around my neck.  I must have been a sight. But here he was this man, this handsome, cute, adorable, man, asking me if I wanted to see the best part of Notre Dame?  Wait a minute, is this a scam?  “Well, you know, I don’t usually talk to strangers.  And I’m ok.  I really don’t want to stand in that long line to get into the cathedral.”, I said.  He smiled. “I understand, don’t worry, I’m ok, really, I work for the museums, I am a curator of one of the museums here in Paris, look.”  And he showed me his employee ID. (Like I can read French, really.) But it did look like an official employee id and I did see his name, Frédérico Lucasa, and the name of his museum, the Musée d’Orsay.

I decided I’d take the risk, besides, it’s daylight, there are lots of people around and he’s just so good-looking. Okay, what can I say, I was also very flattered and curious. I was in Paris and a handsome man wants to show me around.  What would you do?

He takes me to the back side of Notre Dame, the gardens. Yes, it is beautiful and you can see the architecture of the building so much clearer.  We walk the gardens and he tells me about his work at the museum, I’m listening to the melodic timber of his voice more than I am his words as I stop occasionally and snap photos of the cathedral.  The rain starts to pick up. “Let’s get a cappuccino and get out of this rain before you get soaked.”, He says and leads me across the street to a small café where we go inside and are seated at a small table in the corner.  It’s so much warmer here and the cappuccino is warm and rich on my tongue, I find myself wanting other things warm and rich on my tongue, and I just met this man. Such a brazen hussy.  I smile, as I control my thoughts and continue the conversation with him. He asks how I like Paris, how long I’m staying, you know all the fair weather, polite talk people do to get to know each other while he reaches for my free hand and covers it with his.  His hand is so large and warm.

  • Feature Photo: Notre Dame Gardens, Paris, France. April 2016. Photography by Candace Stauber

1. Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore – Paris

Paris in Springtime

In all my dreams never did I expect to be walking the narrow streets of Paris this spring.  The air was full of new life; the trees were just budding with fresh leaves. There was still a chill in the air and the streets were wet because of the mist that was falling.  I was people watching as always, running around with their black umbrellas, everyone trying to keep out of the rain, but still trying to see the sights or hiding under awnings of the cafes to keep dry.

I had my hood up on my hoodie, didn’t want to bother with the umbrella, the wind was blowing too hard and I’d seen too many inside out umbrellas that morning. Besides, I was busy with my camera, trying to get that perfect photo of Notre Dame and those wonderful gargoyles.  They were just so many, I walked all around the cathedral thinking, I’d love to go inside, but the queue was all around the building.  Studying the outside, however, occupied my thoughts and I really didn’t care or mind the rain. I was absorbed in the majesty of the building and the architecture.

Suddenly, he was there, “Would you like to see the best part of the cathedral?”, he said in a slight accent and rich deep tone of voice.  I looked up out of my camera lens into a face smiling at me with sparkling brown eyes, with a glint of gold.

  • Feature Photo: Notre Dame, Paris, France. April 2016. Photography by Candace Stauber

14-Reflection

Finally I realize what she means, I have become what I was meant to be the Platinum Dragon.  I have become stronger with each of the magical items found in my life. The books I’ve read. Learning have negativity go it’s own way, not to take it personally.  My heart, my soul, my mind has grown beyond that first encounter with the Crimson dragon.

The fear and panic of the seemingly unconquerable obstacles in my life are no longer taking over. They are no longer standing in my way to success, to a happy life. When there are storm clouds, I know there is a safe haven always available. I can overcome. The larger than life problems that I faced, only made me who I have become today. The illnesses and diseases that haunt me, don’t get best of me, because I’ve learned to be adaptable, to be flexible enough to allow for the unknown and adjust accordingly.

Dragons are a symbol of strength and courage. I’m finally ME!

As for each of the magical objects I found in my dream.  I believe their significance lies herein:

  • My green celtic journal, I currently have this book, and keep my daily thoughts and gratitudes it in. Each time I keep a journal of my gratitudes, I’m reminded that I have so much to be grateful for and I think the Universe then gives me even more to be excited about and grateful for.
  • The Magic Book, I seriously believe it’s my computer.  It’s like magic, isn’t it?  We can find almost anything on it, see anything, accomplish anything with it.
  • The crystal disk is Moonstone.It’s my favorite stone, I have it throughout my jewelry collection.  It brings hope, enhances feminine energies, sensitivity, intuition, and psychic abilities. It is also said to bring strong energies of abundance to one’s life. Moonstone is a stone of protection, especially during travel at sea. It is a stone of calm and relief from emotional stress.Camera360_2015_9_29_090537I also believe the shape of this object is significant to me, it is the shape of a lens, like a camera lens. I am finding that photography is becoming a creative outlet for me and one way I can express myself. I am finally becoming confident enough to display my photographs, if for no other reason but for pure enjoyement.

 

  • obsidian_obeliskThe Obsidian Wand.  I was given an Obsidian Obelisk some years ago, by two Hermetic friends of mine when I had been unemployed for 3 years.  They gave it to me when I was just starting my own freelance web design business and didn’t know how to handle negative clients.  Within weeks,  my negative clients  were no longer bothersome and I got a full time position as a web designer at a University. It stays on my desk always.Black Obsidian Stone is a powerful cleanser of psychic smog created within your aura, and is a strong psychic protection stone. It has powerful metaphysical properties that will shield you against negativity, and the energy of these stones may stimulate the gift of prophecy.Hermeticism, also called Hermetism, is a religious, philosophical, and esoteric tradition based primarily upon writings attributed to Hermes Trismegistus (“Thrice Great”).Much of the importance of Hermeticism arises from its connection with the development of science during the time from 1300 to 1600 AD. The prominence that it gave to the idea of influencing or controlling nature led many scientists to look to magic and its allied arts (e.g., alchemy, astrology) which, it was thought, could put Nature to the test by means of experiments.
  • The Bell– I believe the bell was my wakeup call.  My realization that I am where I’m supposed to be at this time.

13. Courage

My heart beating like a drum, I approach the castle, the entry looks dark and ominous.  I gather my courage and I really am needing that right now. I’m scared out of my wits. I must be crazy to be doing this, I have never been inside a castle before or been so bold as to even think that I belong here.  What am I doing here?  But I feel as if  I don’t proceed I will be missing out on an opportunity of a lifetime.  There is something inside that calls me, I hear it whispering my name.

“Welcome, I’ve been waiting so long for you, come.” I pass through the portal to a grand hall, but it is empty.  I look around, no one is there. Banners on the walls are emblems of dragons– crimson dragons, black dragons, sapphire colored dragons and on the far wall is a banner lying on a table yet to be hung. I approach to take a look, but Oberon catches my attention as he starts to wander down a hallway.  “Come”, I hear the whisper and I follow.

The hallways are a maze, how will I ever find my way out?  Suddenly I hear a rustle behind me, expecting the owner of the castle to come to me and ask me what I’m doing there, I prepare a speech.  However, when I turn around I see two large yellow eyes approaching and the dragon’s talons clicking on the stone floor of the castle as she comes after me.  I start running with Obie fast on my heels.  I run down every corridor, take every turn, yet she follows and quickly she is catching up with me. I am frantic with worry, sweat beads up on my brow, I feel like I’m going to faint.

Then clearly and loudly the bell on Oberon’s collar rings. I know what I must do.

The enormous crimson dragon is right behind me.  I stop running, turn around and face her. “What do you want! I am not running from you anymore!”  I feel myself vibrating, I think in nervousness, but suddenly I see my hands begin to shift into slender silver fingers, with sharp metallic like talons at the end.  My skin tingles further like a chill running down my spine as I grow larger and larger.  The dark hallway is no longer dim, it becomes bright as day. I see so much more clearly now.

“Finally”, says the crimson dragon, “You have become who you are supposed to be, the Platinum Dragon.  We have waited for you.  We have tried so many times to get you here. Look in the mirror.”  Before me was a mirror on the wall and there I stood, not the weak human girl I was before, insecure, scared and frightful, but a real live Platinum Dragon scales glistening as if they were wet, scales that could withstand any forces that were put against me. Wings that could fly, that could take me anywhere my imagination would allow. Green eyes that could see the world in a whole new and beautiful light.  And beneath all that, I could feel the beating of a stronger heart that was open to everything that the Universe had to offer.

That unhung flag was for me and for you, you see. For we all are dragons underneath.  We just have to accept it. We have to face our fears.

 

12. Goal in Sight

Incredible! this is what is drawing me irresistibly nearer, a castle high on a hill.  It’s beautiful and the sky seems to know that this is my destination, it is alive in color, the hues of pinks, blues and yellows are amazing. The castle is evidently my destiny but what awaits me there? It’s huge and the hill is almost overwhelming.  Can I find my way all the way up?

gardnerscottage-Edinburgh1500I look at the Magic book, it confirms my suspicions, the final star on the map is within the castle. Oberon and I look at each other and then at the castle.”Well, I’m not getting any closer by just staring at it, am I?  Let’s go”  Here at the base of the castle is a beautiful garden, I’ve rested for awhile at a fountain studying which way is the best way to approach this hill. There’s no way, I can climb it, so I will go around.  I’m sure I’ll discover many wondrous sights along the way.  The garden is rich in color, there’s even a clock made of flowers in the corner, someone is lovingly grooming and planting this garden. I come to a small cottage, it must be the gardener’s because it is as beautiful as the garden. The gardener comes out to greet me, “We’ve been expecting you, you only need to take the road to the left then go right, the next right is the road to the castle.” I look confused, I didn’t even ask, how did he know what I needed?  How did he know who I was?

It wasn’t that warm of a day with the clouds overhead, but the trek up the streets and around that hill manage to get me warm.  I was thankful when it starting misting rain, I just hoped I didn’t get caught in a downpour. I wasn’t anxious to be soaking wet when I arrived at the castle.  I didn’t know who I was to meet there.  Surely a king or queen, I had to be at least a little presentable.

Along the way, there were many small shops that caught my eye, and the aromas of the small cafes were enticing. My stomach started growling, I was hungry, but curiosity beat the hunger and I continued on. I crossed a bridge when I took that right turn the gardener talked about and saw the castle looming larger. My heart beat faster as my pace sped up.

alnwickcastlecolorfulclouds

Feature Photo: Edinburgh Castle, Edinburgh, Scotland. Photography by Candace Stauber
Story Photos: Gardeners Cottage, Edinburgh Gardens, Prince Street, Edinburgh, Scotland.
Alnwick Castle, UK. Photography by Candace Stauber