After a busy day in her booth, she gathers her tools of the trade in her satchel as the minstrels play and the crowds’ cheer. She hears the barkers selling their icy cold pickles and smiles. She walks towards the back of the festival grounds. It’s been a good day. The seekers were happy with the results of her readings, and she made a nice little profit to sustain her for the day.
She stops by the food court and buys some crab cakes and an artichoke to take back to her trailer for dinner. She’s tired but really kind of dreading going back to an empty trailer. The noise and music of the crowds are nice and gives her a pleasant sensation. It’s bittersweet, however, seeing all the couples together when she walks alone. She is always alone.
She sits in her rocking chair outside her small mobile home and watches the sunset as it changes from a fiery red to pink to purple to deep blue. As the sun sets, a tear falls from her eye. The demons are sneaking up on her. “Stop,” she cries,“I’m trying, leave me alone. Everyone else does why don’t you!” She’s had her share of lovers, but it’s difficult when you are an empath and sensitive. She can read them so well, when their auras mingle, she knows what is in their heart and soul. She knows just how much she can deal with, she knows how true or untrue they will be. She knows that her life is not meant to be with anyone. People basically are afraid of someone who can see through them, who can see all their flaws and knows their true intentions. What they don’t understand, however, she can also accept them for who they are. But they are afraid and leave anyway.
The night brings her first demon—loneliness. He haunts her frequently. She has tried to embrace him as a lover too, but knowing what was and what could be, make it difficult. She feels empty, she feels like part of her is missing.
As the moon rises over the horizon, her next demon begins his visit, her body is aching from the day, she has almost gone over her limit of what it can handle. But she resists giving in every day. She listens in the distance to the other Rennies sing by the campfires as she goes inside to shower away the negative energies accumulated today and slip into bed. It’s going to be a long night and not an easy one, it never is. Her body aches, the muscles and bones hurt, they never stop hurting. She needs to rest. The warm water temporarily soothes her body as she envisions a white light encompassing her and flowing over her chakras cleansing not just her body, but her soul. It gives her peace. She’s now ready to face the night.
Sliding between the silky smooth cotton sheets of her comfortable bed, with the moonlight coming through the window, she thinks about her day and how happy she has made some people and the smiles she observed as the seekers walked away. This gives her joy. She thinks about the empty side of her bed and a tear falls as she slips into slumber. It doesn’t last long, though, her demon lover waits to intertwine his tendrils on and into her body. Midnight comes, she wakes to his presence. She is in pain. So much pain, her body throbs, aches, and shudders. She walks the floor to ease the stiffness, then climbs back into bed. “Please let me rest.” But no, she lays there, desperately trying to sleep with the pain, with the demon lying with her, not releasing his firm grip on her. Insomnia joins in, the hour’s pass, it’s now three in the morning. She rises again. Maybe a little chamomile tea will help. She needs some rest, she needs to sleep before the new day begins again. This nightly visit from her demon lover is exhausting, is so debilitating, is the cause of her tear. It is the cause of her isolation. How could she possibly expose anyone else to this nightly scene?
* Invisible Illness Awareness Week is Sept. 28-Oct. 4 and you can find it on social media with #invisiblefight #invisibleillness. Hundreds of thousands of people share their stories, their struggles, and their strengths, while encouraging one another and increasing the awareness of the public about the daily challenges they face and why they do not always feel as well as they look. Find more info at Invisible Illness Awareness Week or their Facebook page.