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I need to thank a new follower (thinkinkadia) for getting my juices flowing today about what I call myself or how I see myself.  I have called myself an introvert because I have personality traits that most psychologists would deem introversion.  I am solitary, quiet, prefer solo travel, solo type work, not keen on crowds, etc.  However, I realize I’ve really never fit any particular label as defined by the dictionary.  I like people, I like intelligent people.  I like crowds with purpose. I can easily introduce myself to a stranger and carry on a conversation.  Now the term “activist” has entered my vocabulary.  It’s a new and strange word for my tongue to say. I never thought that I’d be an activist, a feminist, or even “political”.   I’ve always been reluctant to put labels on others as well and now I can definitely characterize some public figures with unflattering labels. But I won’t, just as I will no longer put a label on me!  I am a unique human.  I am not the same woman I was when I was in my 20’s, 30’s 50’s or even before the election.  Growth has been ongoing for me, I strive for growth mentally and emotionally constantly.  I believe it behooves us as adults to continually question our world and see the truth.  To continually question and grow.  To travel outside our hometown and personal bubbles to experience new cultures to grow and learn tolerance.

Tonight I changed my Platinum Dragon site a bit.  I hope to be able to express the conflict that I’m feeling in my heart and soul these days, to hopefully inspire others to speak out against injustice and tyranny. I changed my about page to reflect these thoughts, below are the paragraphs explaining why and how I’ve turned a new chapter in my life.

Since the election I lost my words, I have struggled with my conscience and the direction I wanted to take my writing but my thoughts have become so adamant about expressing themselves that my passion has been aroused about my country, our freedoms, and our world.   I have never even discussed politics with anyone, family or friends, let alone strangers.  I don’t discuss religion either.  I believed the United States was founded on a solid foundation and although we disagreed on many things, we did agree on the what our founding fathers wanted for this country. I believed that we could overcome our differences, at least politically.  I believed that we had processes in place that would not allow dictators or demagoguery to rise in power.

I know we have struggled through the years and century with equality for all, I felt we were making progress.  How sadly disappointed and disillusioned I was. I have always given others the benefit of the doubt, I have always trusted too much, and now as in personal relationships, I have had my heartbroken in the American people who have been blindly misled by a scam artist and his flock. I had more faith in them than they deserved.

I have been growing into the Dragon for several years, never did I realize that the Dragon meant my voice was meant to roar even louder.  I thought that I had to overcome my own personal demons.  Now, I realize there are more important demons and evil that I have to overcome, more important reasons I have to speak out. More important reasons, that I cannot withdraw back into the timid person I used to be.  Too much is at stake for us as a nation, and we as individuals, one voice at a time, one writer at a time. Speaking and writing our convictions can and will be heard.

Our founding fathers spoke out, Benjamin Franklin wrote his convictions, we must too. Remember history repeats itself. Don’t let it repeat the worst events of the world. Speak out with me. Be heard!

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Can an Introvert be an Activist?

me-contemplativeThis question has been on my mind a lot lately, in fact, ever since the election.  I got married in 1969, a week before Woodstock, during the age of peace-loving hippies, political marches about the Vietnam war, Nixon, the Ted Kennedy scandal of Chappaquiddick, and the first draft lottery for the military (the main reason my ex-husband married me was to avoid the draft). I had very strict parents and a very repressed childhood as I’ve mentioned before, so I didn’t dare speak up or out. When I married I married someone exactly like my father, someone who kept me suppressed, who “gaslighted” every unique thought I ever had. I felt stupid for feeling the angst and anxiety I saw happening in the 70s. It kept me quiet.  I was not the hippie, I was the quiet, obedient child and wife watching in pain. Watching the world around me on fire, watching others in pain, watching as other women, African-Americans, Native Americans, gays and lesbians and other marginalized people continued their fight for equality, and many Americans joined the protest against the ongoing war in Vietnam.

Perhaps, this is partial cause of what has happened to our society today, too many others, like me,  stood quietly by and didn’t speak up.  But now, I don’t have parents to quell my thoughts or my voice.  I don’t have a husband to make me feel stupid or abuse my intelligence. Now I only have me to blame for not speaking out against the injustice in the world.  This is the conundrum, a quiet, introvert speaking out, becoming an activist, attempting to find the words and the vocabulary she needs to express to the world who needs to listen and understand what is at stake for us all!

If anyone has studied history they can see that there are patterns that result in either success or disaster, in the rise and fall of empires. We study the personalities that help us rise to our best in the world and we see those personalities that try to deceive us and gaslight us, basically, scam us like those online dating scammers who take advantage of those desperately seeking love. Really?  are there that many out there that desperate to believe and need someone else to solve their problems and will believe anything told to them? Can they not think for themselves and do the research to determine between factual news and fake news. Can’t they see what really is a stake? Their freedom!  It’s not just a political party question.  It’s a matter of integrity, moral ethics, moral compass, and TRUTH. 

I am not a religious person but I have studied and read the Bible (many times).  I particularly am fascinated by the book of Revelations and the End Times.  I know it says after the Rapture that even some good people are left to endure the anti-Christ and they essentially are left to testify and tested of their faith – to testify.  I feel now, I am being tested.  Am I to sit back and silently let things happen as they may or am I going to speak my convictions, stand up for equality, stand up for what is right and not allow injustice without me saying something.  My answer, NO!

I am learning, I will continue to learn, I will continue to gather my strength.  The dragon inside me roars to be released in earnest.

 

Daily Word Prompt: Conundrum